Being a mom is difficult at any age, I don't know why people are so judgmental about young mothers. Sixteen and Pregnant creates a bad stereo-type for young mothers that is untrue for most. I was 21 when I got pregnant with my daughter {not quite a teen, but close} I look younger than I am too. I got stares and mean comments all through my pregnancy and as a mother. I'm not ignorant, I was with the father of my child for 5 years before we got pregnant, we were getting married before I found out about the pregnancy {I was 3 months pregnant at our wedding}, what are some other stereo-types about young mothers?? It did put a hold on my education but a degree in Interior Design wouldn't be doing me much good right now in this economy anyway. People don't consider that I was married and had a job and owned a home, my husband and I have now been married for 7 years. This is more than some women who are pregant and in thier 30's and 40's, but I don't hear people talking about what a screw-up their kids are gonna be or how badly they have messed their own lives up.
I didn't plan my pregnancy but I was fully up for the challenge of being a mother and starting this chapter in my life a little early! I still get a lot of disrespect, when people do the math and realize that if my daughter is going to be 7 and I'm definitely not 30 than I must have been in my early 20's or possibly a teen mom. I had my daughter in a Montessori School for Kindergarten and my husband and I were the youngest parents on the campus {by far}, let me just say that for a community that is supposedly so open-minded {those hippy-types at Montessori} most did not accept us or respect us as parents. Her teacher invited my mother to volunteer in class but never really spoke to my husband or I at all about helping with anything.
I get the same disrespect with my older son {I was 24 when he was born}. He had to have an MRI done because he had fluid on his hip. I had my mom come with me because I was a little scared as to what the outcome might be. The woman asking all of the legal questions looked at my mom and directed all questions to her. Even tho I answered all of the questions and my son is sitting right there calling me mom and my mom Nana, I kid you not! No respect for us young moms. A freaking MRI Tech thinks she is better than me and cannot make eye contact with me to ask questions regarding MY son. She probably assumed that I had something to do with the hip problem situation as well. Of course, I am a young mother and was probably not paying attention to him and he got hurt or just beat him so badly it caused this, right??
And now I am a mother of 3 and still not 30, you can imagine the looks I get! Here's the thing, I am a good mother and my husband is a good father. We have an amazing family, our kids are so great and my daughter is doing incredibly well in school. I have most of my shit together, we are never late to an appointment my daughter is always prepared for school and arrives on time. I manage to balance being a Mother of 3 with being a full time student at Arizona State as a Mechanical Engineering Student {that isn't an easy feat for a young single person with few responsibilities let alone a wife and mommy of 3}. I have a great marriage to a great man who is supporting our family on his own {he is just as young as I am, btw}. My house isn't ALWAYS clean, I don't cook dinner EVERY night and we are having difficulty financially, but these days that is not abnormal for any family.
My point is...next time you see a young mother and your feel sorry for her or her child, just remember that she is just as likely to have her shit together as you or the other OLDER mother you are comparing her too...it's possible she may be an even better mother! That's right, I'm a great mom and so are many other young mothers out there, so stop judging!!
Thank you Ashlee at Momchalant and your blog post for inspiring my post today!
